Gods Leading: Education

Let me first start out this post by saying, that God speaks clearly to me in the middle of the night. Perhaps, its because I am up nursing my precious baby, it's dark, and it's pure silence. Sometimes I am nursing when His small voice speaks, other times I am tossing and turning finally to realize I cant sleep then that voice starts. It's such a joy, despite being woken up, to hear directly from our Heavenly Father.

I am remembering back to March 2012. It was time to sign Cayden up for preschool, or so we thought. "Our" plan was always to send Cayden to a private school. And that was going to start when he was 3 1/2. We began to tinker with the idea, and trying to get the ball going on signing him up and touring. One evening in March, Ryan was away that evening, it was me and the boys. And I just felt this emotional out pour. "I cant send him to preschool. I want to be with him! He is only little once. I am just giving my time with him away to someone else." My heart was torn. The secular thoughts can seem overwhelming in this world, telling you "if he doesn't go to preschool he wont get a good start. He needs to be with other kids." And to think, that for six years I taught preschool and now I wasn't going to send my son? The world told me, that's absurd. But the Lord told me, "yes, keep him home with you." A few of my closest mentors in my life, reached out to me that evening, as my boys were busily playing and tears were rolling down my cheeks, encouraging me to keep him home another year. Ryan agreed wholeheartedly. God is good.

That very next morning, at about 3 am I was up nursing. Pretty much half asleep. Homeschooling suddenly was on my heart. As someone pointed out to me, surely the Lord put that there, because Satan would have nothing to do with wanting this for my children. Homeschooling? Really? To be honest, that was NEVER an option. Remember, "our" plan was private school. But my heart was soft, it was suddenly listening to this word and God knew that. He knew that! I reached for my phone, began reading verses, blogs and I even wrote our pastor. I fell asleep with a peace, an overwhelming peace! God is good.

7 am. It was as if I blurted it all out. Ryan, hmmmm was his reaction. "I don't know." That day, His voice kept speaking to me, my pastor responded so encouraging to it. We headed out that evening for a date, just Ryan and I. We had a serious conversation about this and I spilled my heart, what He spoke to me. People around us must have thought something was wrong, we were talking so passionately about it! Ryan's "I don't know" became an "absolutely!" Good is good.

I began talking to other homeschooling moms who are in the midst of it or who have walked the road before. I was directed to a local co-op. After talking with them, there was nothing offered for the preschool age. Hmmm....I DO want something for my son to do, but not the traditional preschool. I want to be super involved. This co-op, well established and having its ducks in a row, was wanting to start a preschool program to include the young families of their program. And so it begins, I was offered this position to start their preschool program, once a week! How cool is that....I get to teach in the classroom again, be home with my kids and reignite a passion. God is SO good.

I stand in awe of my Maker. The one who leads, guides if only we let Him. I have a huge peace about homeschooling that only He can give. Have I faced ridicule for this decision? You bet. Did it hurt and break my heart? Even more. But, how can anyone argue with something that God has specifically called you to do? No one can. Over the last several months, there has been confirmation after confirmation that what Ryan and I have decided to do for education for our children is right and it is His best for them and for us. God knows me. He knows that my personality and who I am, needs confirmation because Satan is so after me. He is so good to give that to me, teaching me to be strong, to stand up to the enemy when He wants to tear us apart and bring us down. After all, does Satan really want me to keep my kids with me, at home, where His word is spoken daily? Where my children learn to love, learn to grow in Him? No he doesn't. Is it a change for me? Somewhat.  Remember, homeschooling was never an option. Till now. My response to people used to be, "We aren't sure yet." In regards to if we were sending Cayden to school. Our response now? "We are homeschooling." He has grown me in confidence! So thankful to Him. Someone who I think highly of, a mentor to me, shared this phrase,

"Never doubt in the darkness what God showed you in the light." Profound!

God is amazing!